Toronto ad agency Triangles announced this groundbreaking piece of internet technology this week. Is it a penis? Is it not a penis? Let the computers figure that out.
King Tut was buried with a hard-on to try and quash religious rebellion. Glad that’s worked well so far for Egypt.
When the young King Tut was buried, he was given his dead penis a full salute, standing up at a straight 90 degree angle. This hasn’t entirely been clear, but one egyptologist Salima Ikram, a professor at the American University in Cairo, has argued that the unusual burial of King Tut was an attempt to make him appear as Osiris, the god of the afterlife, to counter attempts by King Akhenaten to establish a monotheistic religion.
WARNING: The condition is known as diphallia, and yes, there are pictures. Most people who have diphalia have one penis that’s full sized and one little barely formed penile nub. But this guy on Reddit has two full sized, fully functional dicks. And yes, he can stick both in the v, or on in the v-hole, the other in the b-hole at the same time. Holy shit.
// that’s enough internet for the month
One of the most quotable moments from the highly quotable 1971 film ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ is when Wonka introduces the children to one of his new inventions— lickable wallpaper. As the kids lick the wall, Wonka exclaims “the snozzberries taste like snozzberries!” What are snozzberries? You probably thought it was just some total nonsense term from an author, Roald Dahl, known for lots of nonsense words. But in Dahl’s world, the word “snozzberry” does apparently have a meaning. In Dahl’s 1979 adult novel ‘My Uncle Oswald’, “snozzberry” is slang for penis. Yes, those kids were licking dick flavored wallpaper. Not surprising for a story whose main character is a lonely psychopath living in his own fantasy world who casually murders children for kicks.