Despite the blatant fear mongering inherent in repeatedly referring to automated weapons as “killer robots” — it seems the UN is poised to ban soulless murder machines before they can become a fully-formed reality. The new resolution would ensure that humans, who have an impeccable record of executing prudent judgment while dispensing violent force, have final control of targeting decisions.
Because when I think of film franchises that need to be redone, I always think ‘Terminator’. Obviously. James Cameron’s first two Terminator films, in 1984 and 1991 were just too fucking good that Hollywood wants to reboot the films starring who knows. Oh, it will star Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator? Really old, saggy, phoning it in just waiting to die Arnold? How is this better? Paramount apparently wants to crank out at least two films before the rights revert to James Cameron, because fuck that guy, what has he ever done for the franchise?
Just so you’re not confused, Arnold Schwarzenegger is absolutely on board for lots more action movies until his body wears out and his old man moobs take over. It looks like that Schwarzenegger will be on board for at least two more Terminator movies, so there’s that.
Just because Arnold’s not going to be doing a new Terminator movie, or so I think, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream about a glorious return of the franchise. Wired wrote two people in Hollywood, Paul WS Anderson (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil: Afterlife, Three Musketeers) and Damon Lindelof (Lost, Star Trek, Cowboys and Aliens) to come up with two separate pitches.
Last week, we told you about how Schwarzzaneggar was coming back to movies and how he had agreed to do Terminator 5. But as it turns out, Terminator 5 could be like Terminator Reunion on Ice. Everybody’s coming back. Well, I don’t know about everybody everybody, like the guys who tried to beat Arnold’s ass in the bar when he strolls in buck-ass naked in Terminator 1, but a lot of people.
After all the speculation, it does look like that Arnold Schwarzaneggar will be returning to the Termintor franchise to star in a fifth Terminator movie. Because Rise of the Robots and Salvation were such good reasons to keep going that we just have to have an even older and saggier Terminator. Why not comedies? Why not Twins 2? That would be something to be excited about.
At 8:11 PM April 19th, Skynet became self-aware. And on April 21st, Judgment Day begins. So if you’re currently reading this without seeing mushroom clouds, consider yourself lucky for now. Perhaps it’s starting on the other side of the globe and the media has been blacked out because of the destruction. Or maybe… it’s waiting.
James Cameron, back when he was doing cool movies, did a kick-ass sequel to the original Terminator film. You may have heard of it, I think it was called something like “Terminator 2”. It was a pretty excellent movie, but what if it had been written by William Shakespeare?
What if I told you that the above dog was a killer android dog from the future that loves to cuddle and chase rubber balls?
Here’s a great fucking idea… let’s create a nearly indestructible robotic hand so that when the robot uprising happens that we’ll have no chance of snapping off their cold metal fingers as they’re choking us to death. GOOD FUCKING IDEA SCIENCE.