Oklahoma high school teacher shows up for the first day back to work drunk and pantsless. Stay classy Oklahoma teachers
Earlier this week, on the first day back to school for teachers, a Wagoner, Oklahoma teacher Lorie Ann Hill was arrested after a fellow teacher found her passed out drunk and sans pantalones on the first day back to school for teachers. Apparently, Ms Hill had been downing vodka in her car right before she went into the school, and the empty classroom I guess just seemed like the right place to go pantsless.
Skaters just love to one-up each other with various gross and dangerous shenanigans— hell, Johnny Knoxville has turned a few skater buddies fucking around and being stupid into his own little empire. But in Australia, a thing has emerged called “bubbling”, in which you (a male, presumably, it’s far easier) piss straight from the nozzle into your own mouth, because… I have no idea. But it’s a thing, and I’m guessing, a messy one.
In another one of her well researched articles, the Food Babe’s copious research has led her to the conclusion that microwaving water changes its structure in the same way negative thoughts do. “For the experiment pictured above, microwaved water produced a similar physical structure to when the words “Satan” and “Hitler” were repeatedly exposed to the water.”
For a minute, never mind the charge of shooting a missile into a car. A missile doesn’t have to be a Minuteman or Patriot missile— it’s simply a launched rocket-shaped projectile. Let’s focus on the important part, that the woman who was arrested in Polk County, Florida has the most Florida name ever. Crystal Metheney. No, that’s not the name of a Breaking Bad themed My Little Pony, that’s her actual name. This is gonna be a good day.
A Chinese man was left red-faced after getting his penis stuck in a pipe for TWO DAYS. Lian Tien came up with possibly the world’s most bizarre excuse for the embarrassing blunder - he was painting in the nude and slipped. The 61-year-old said his ‘private parts’ became stuck in a pipe sticking out used to take water from the building’s air conditioning unit. But he thought nobody would believe his story - so he stayed there for two days until he developed a fever and called doctors, who suggested they call for backup from the fire brigade.
A Hamilton man with a long history of public indecency convictions was arrested again for simulating sex with a pool float. Edwin Tobergta, 35, was arrested Wednesday morning after a witness observed him standing naked on Route 4 in Hamilton simulating sex with a pink pool floatation device. According to the police report, the witness said he was in full view of nearby businesses and passing cars. He was charged with public indecency and contempt of court. Tobergta was previously arrested in June of 2013 after he engaged in sex with a pool float outside of his house in front of several children. He pleaded guilty to that offense and was sentenced to 11 months in prison but was released early. In August of 2011 he was arrested for a similar offense involving having sex with a pink swimming pool raft. In 2002, he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin that was part of a Halloween display.