Our generation has done it again. We’ve successfully managed to create another way in which we can receive immediate and short-term gratification for doing something nobody actually cares about.
Apparently it has everything to do with your right knee, and nothing to do with your arms. ONE WEIRD TRICK TO HAVE GIRLS MAKING FUCK
Instead of getting a cake with 23 candles, this year, porn star Heidi Van Horny, from a long line of Van Hornys, decided she wanted a 23 guy gangbang. It’s the kind of birthday gift idea that only gets better as you get older.
You ever wanted to see what you look like having sex in real time? Me neither. But if you have Google Glass now or in the future, there’s apparently an app called Glance that lets you watch yourself doing the nasty. Because that’s what everyone wants. The app lets you watch yourself have sex during the act, from a variety of angles, while wearing Google Glass. You direct the app verbally to let you watch the deed from multiple angles by saying, “Okay Glass, it’s time” and when you’re done, just say “Okay Glass, pull out.”
At 21 years old, Gregg Casarona was finally going to do it— finally going to have sex for the first time. His girlfriend, Jen Gerakaris was also excited. He was 300 pounds heavier than her, But the young lovers weren’t going to let things as silly as physics get in the way of their passion. In short order, Jen’s head was clear through the drywall and paramedics were on their way.
In a landmark, world changing decision, the Supreme Court of Canada struck down the pillar of anti-prostitution laws in the country, basically paving the way for decriminalized brothel prostitution. This allows for greater security and stability for sex workers, and a boon for tourism to Canada. As if their strip clubs weren’t awesome enough, now Canadian hookers. God bless you Canada.
It’s Cosmo, shut up, it’s entertaining and possibly educational.
Also, for comparison, here’s 14 things the average guy thinks while going down on a woman. Pretty accurate.
During mating season, male koalas can let loose bellows that are way deeper than seem possible due to the koala’s size. This deep noise is pure sex to female koalas, getting their panties all moist and attracts them to the males over long distances, like if you were able to spontaneously croon with the deep baritone of Barry White whenever you wanted. As it turns out, male koalas can produce such sexy vibrations not because of the length of their larynx, but because of folds in the pharanyx just above the larynx, which makes them capable of going as low as 9.8 hz, a frequency that makes Barry White sound like a little girl.