Posts tagged with ‘oklahoma

Oklahoma high school teacher shows up for the first day back to work drunk and pantsless. Stay classy Oklahoma teachers

Earlier this week, on the first day back to school for teachers, a Wagoner, Oklahoma teacher Lorie Ann Hill was arrested after a fellow teacher found her passed out drunk and sans pantalones on the first day back to school for teachers. Apparently, Ms Hill had been downing vodka in her car right before she went into the school, and the empty classroom I guess just seemed like the right place to go pantsless.

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First look at the beautiful Satanic statue set for the Oklahoma statehouse

In January the Satanic Temple announced plans to erect a monument glorifying the Dark Lord on the front lawn of the Oklahoma Statehouse. An Indiegogo campaign was launched with what seemed like a somewhat lofty goal of $20,000, but by the time donations ended almost $30,000 had been raised. Now an artist trained in classical sculpture is toiling away in New York, crafting a Baphomet figure sitting beneath a pentagram and flanked by two children gazing upward in loyalty. When it is finished, it will be cast in bronze and, the Satanists hope, eventually displayed in Oklahoma.

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Oklahoma protesters threaten to “secdee” if Cosmos isn’t cancelled

Furious with Neil DeGrasse Tyson o their Fox channels and his anti-Creationist “knowledge” and his truthy “facts” have gotten a group of people in Oklahoma so hopping mad, they’ve threatened to secede from the Union if Cosmos isn’t pulled off the air. You know, to form a freer union with one god, one religion, where science is outlawed and the truth about what we know about the world squashed. Good times those will be.

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Satanic Temple unveils 7-foot goat-headed Baphomet statue for Oklahoma Capitol

If you haven’t been reading about this clusterfuck in Oklahoma, here’s the skinny…

A conservative Christian group gets a giant 10 Commandments statue on the Capitol lawn under the argument of the first amendment.  Several other groups, including the OK City Satanic Temple, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Noodle Monster, and many others have applied and petitioned to have a statue on the lawn as well, citing the same reasoning as the 10 Commandments.  The powers-that-be got all “fuck them, Jesus is the only way” on them, and it all boiled over.  Now, there’s a convenient moratorium on all new statues.  The model above is the recently proposed statue for the Satanic Temple.

The issue here is that the group who erected the 10 Commandments and the legislators who allowed it are blatantly using their power to prevent other ‘illegitimate’ monuments from being placed on state property.  To anyone who has even <i>heard</i> of the First Amendment, there are—ideally—two outcomes to this:  1.  Remove the Commandments so no one religion is represented on the state grounds, or, 2. Allow everyone to be included (trolls and all…).

I really just thought that the statue is super badass….

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Watch the first 10 minutes of the Moore, Oklahoma F5 tornado forming and intensifying

Raw footage of Fast Unit 70’s (Chance Coldiron & Justin Cox) coverage of the Moore tornado that was used by KOCO5 during the event on May 20th, 2013. We watched as the tornado formed in front of us and rapidly intensified then moved across highway 37 in Newcastle, OK. Then the tornado continued to intensify as it tracked across the Canadian River and the interstate 44 bridge.

Wolf Blitzer would like to take a moment to tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Man arrested in Oklahoma after a portable meth lab exploded in his pants

David Williams ran from a police officer who noticed a chemical smell as he was issuing a speeding ticket to the driver of the SUV Williams was a passenger in, KOTV reported. The officer caught up with Williams and in the ensuing struggle, an “active meth lab” he had been hiding in his pants burst, Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper Shiloh Hall told the station.


Oklahoma Democrats go full Monty Python on GOP anti-abortion bill, add an “Every sperm is sacred” clause

When Oklahoma state senate Republicans tried to push through an anti-abortion bill, Oklahoma Democrats tried to force the bill to go full retard by adding a section to the bill that would make any form of male ejaculation not into a vagina “a crime against unborn babies”. You be trollin’.

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Tulsa woman arrested for attempting to cook meth inside a Wal-Mart

Elizabeth Alisha Greta Halfmoon was arrested in Tulsa, Oklahoma yesterday for attempting to cook meth inside a Wal-Mart. The amazing part is that she wasn’t just busting Sudafed on the floor— she had been at it for SIX HOURS before employees finally became suspicious of her activities and called the police. Well, we can’t all be Walter White.

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5.6 magnitude earthquake rattles Oklahoma

Fig. 1 A Demonstration of tectonic forces at work in Oklahoma

If anyone’s in Oklahoma (unlikely), that shaking you felt a little while ago was a 5.6 magnitude earthquake, centered in Lincoln County. Congrats, Oklahoma, you had an earthquake, I guess you’re cool now.

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If you’re going to party and smoke weed in prison, don’t post the pictures on Facebook

Convicted murderer Justin “Jus N” Walker is in the midst of a 30 year sentence for killing an Oklahoma sheriff. But god forbid that prison should put a damper on his ability to smoke weed and party like a motherfucker. But if that’s how you’re going to do it in prison, don’t post it all on Facebook with your contraband Blackberry.

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Oklahoma City mayor bans the Lingerie Football League from his town

So this month, the Lingerie Football League announced that it wanted to put an LFL expansion team in OKC… but the mayor said no way. The OKC Civic Center and other arenas are only good for the likes of cheerleading competitions, UFC and Satanic rituals. You know how I know?


Craziest college football interception ever

At this weekend’s OSU vs Oklahoma game, Broderick Brown bounces the pass from quarterback Landry Jones inbounds to Shaun Lewis. I went to a football game and volleyball suddenly broke out.

Oh no not this shit again: Pedobear fever hits Oklahoma

For one, the “registered sex offender” handing out free candy at Comic Con wasn’t really a registered sex offender. And two, part of the joke about Pedobear is that a lecherous cartoon bear lurking around in human society would stand out. So it’s not like someone would wear the Pedobear outfit to try and blend in. 

I don’t know what makes me want to vomit more— real pedos or this newscast. I think maybe this newscast wins by a small margin. Oh, and what happened to the “Satan worshippers living next door that will steal your children” thing? That should totally make a comeback.


Satanists in Oklahoma battle for religious equality

Satan worshippers in Oklahoma City tried to book the civic center to perform a ceremony to spread their message and get followers. Nice mask, Satan.

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