Someone over in the production department at Chicago’s WGN news station is apparently learning about internet best practices the hard way today. This very unlucky employee managed to get their little Pornhub Mobile habit splashed all over the local news—and, naturally, the internet took notice.
Spotted by Redditor GIANTclouds
During the 1930s, Shirley Temple was a little curly haired ray of sunshine during the Great Depression and as the world was gearing up for another world war. After being the most famous face in American film for a little over a decade and attaining millionaire status by age 6, Temple withdrew from the spotlight as a teenager only to re-emerge as a diplomat in the 1960s, as a delegate to the UN General Assembly and later America’s ambassador to Ghana and later Czechoslovakia.
In Denmark, they feed healthy giraffes to lions in front of schoolkids for fun and they don’t give a fuck
In news you may have heard already, a zoo in Denmark is getting a lot of shit after they decided to cull a healthy two year old giraffe by feeding it to a lion in front of excited schoolchildren. The zoo has repeatedly defended its actions by saying the giraffe’s genes were “over-represented” and turned down several offers to send the giraffe to another zoo by calling it a one of a kind educational experience. And you thought the Danes had gone soft over the years.
McGruff the Crime Dog actor arrested for marijuana and a grenade launcher. Take a bite out of crime.
Former McGruff the Crime Dog actor, John R. Morales, has been sentenced to 16 years in prison following his guilty plea three years after police seized 1,000 marijuana plants, 27 weapons – including a grenade launcher, and 9,000 rounds of ammunition from his home.
You read that correctly— preserved in silt and sand on the beaches of Norfolk in Great Britain are the oldest human footprints ever discovered outside of Africa. Scientists say the footprints appear to have been from an adult male and a couple small children, probably walking along the old banks of the Thames nearly a million years ago.
Russia has been getting a tremendous amount of shit the last couple days on the Olympic accommodations in Sochi still being under serious construction right before the opening of the Games. Some of it’s real, some isn’t, but in a story not from The Onion, earlier today, Russian deputy prime minister Dmitry Kozak said that he knew everything was hunky dory in the half-built Sochi hotels, because of all the hidden surveillance cameras in the showers. Later, officials denied there are no shower cams, because ha ha that’s silly Russia would never do that. But when your country is getting hell for your lack of planning, you don’t send out a top government official to blame “western media” for making you look bad and then say shit like “because we’re secretly watching you shower”.
In a further attempt to help pay down his massive legal debts to the team that helped acquit him of murdering Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman has turned to the world of celebrity boxing. Apparently, there was a list of 15,000 applicants to beat the shit out of Zimmerman, and the lucky bastard who gets to punch him in the face will be rapper DMX. DMX said he will be fighting on behalf of everyone who’s been wronged by the justice system, that he wants to beat the fick out of Zimmerman and he’d piss on him if he could.
With the Olympics two days away, Sochi is still a half finished, barely functioning construction site
To be fair, every time there’s an Olympics or World Cup, the host city gets all kinds of shit from every angle on how things won’t be ready in time. It happened with the Beijing Olympics and with the Athens Olympics and even though Brazil still has plenty of time for its World Cup later this year and the Rio Olympics in 2016, people are wondering if they’ll be ready, though they definitely will. Sochi seems to be a different story all together, with government corruption putting the games forty billion over budget, and with opening day only two days away, international reporters and athletes are filling the resort town, and repeating back via Twitter and Facebook of the total clusterfuck Sochi is at this point. Venues still under construction, 3 hotels barely starting construction, unpaved roads, stray dogs, and the hotels journalists have checked into have intermittent electricity and internet, foul smelling water (when it works) and rooms that are falling apart or unfinished. Oh, and there’s still a lot of uncertainty about safety against terrorists who would love nothing more than to wreck hell. Go Russia!
The 36-year-old accountant, suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers anxiety and hypersexuality. She is said to need to masturbate for at least fifteen minutes every two hours. The condition, that requires the sufferer to orgasm to relieve stress and anxiety, caused Ms Bezerra difficulty at work. At the peak of her condition she was having to masturbate up to forty-seven times a day. Guanabee.com quotes Ms Bazerra as saying: “I got so bad I would have to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That’s when I asked for help, I knew it wasn’t normal,” Now on on a variety of tranquillisers, Bezerra reportedly (only) has to masturbate around 18 times a day.
Not Nutella, sorry. Nadella. Satya Nadella, until now the VP of enterprise and cloud products, was named as Microsoft’s new CEO this morning. Bill Gates will also be stepping down as chairman of the board to return to a more active, hands-on role with the company. Mmm, Nutella.