Posts tagged with ‘monkeys

Indonesia wants to ban monkey mask shows, because it’s creepy as fuck

The official line is that the government wants to stop the spread of diseases carried by the macaques and to curb animal abuse, but one look at the above photo, the underlying reason is pretty obvious— getting little monkeys to wear human baby masks and dance is just raw nightmare fuel stuff. 

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Stylish but illegal monkey found roaming Toronto Ikea

"A disoriented monkey was found wandering aimlessly outside an Ikea store in North York Sunday.

The animal sighting quickly sparked a flurry of activity among Torontonians, who tweeted and re-tweeted pictures and created at least two parody accounts on Twitter.

Dressed in a shearling coat and a diaper, the monkey managed to open its crate, unlock the car door and go for a stroll in the Ikea parking lot – clearly a “smart monkey” for having managed all that, said Toronto Police Staff Sergeant Ed Dzingala.”

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Look at this fucking newly discovered species of monkey

Meet Cercopithecus lomamiensis or the Lesula, a primate species from the Democratic Republic of Congo that has been known to locals for some time, but only recently discovered to the outside scientific world. Look at that sad face.

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Lab tech parties with escaped monkeys

University employee found with pants down, monkeys roaming free… No one knows exactly what went down, but maybe it’s best it’s left a secret.

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Best headline ever: “Zookeeper reportedly licks baby monkey’s anus for over an hour”

Apparently, said zookeeper, at a zoo in China, saved the life of a rare Francois Leaf monkey by licking the primate’s anus for an hour until the monkey was able to pass a peanut that it had accidentally swallowed whole and was obstructing its intestine. I’m sure there are far better ways of getting out that peanut. And did the ass licking actually help, or did the peanut just come out on its own?

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Japanese guy claims to be the fastest person on four legs

For nearly a decade Kenichi has been perfecting a running style based on Africa’s wiry Patas monkey, and that’s helped the 29-year-old get into the record books for the fastest time running 100 metres on all fours.

“You know my face and body kind of looks like a monkey, so from a young age everyone used to tease me, saying ‘monkey, monkey’. But I wasn’t really bothered because I really liked them, and somewhere inside of me I had this ambition to adopt one of their traits,”Ito said, squatting on all fours in his Tokyo apartment.

For eight-and-a-half years Ito has walked around the local area on hands and feet, and turned household chores into challenges on all fours. But his passion for simians was not without setbacks.

“In the streets around here I get stopped by the police, so I went up into the mountains for about a month for a kind of four-legged running training camp. But on the first day, a hunter mistook me for a wild boar, and he tried to shoot me,” Ito told Reuters.

Oh, and here’s a tiny monkey nibbling on a transvestite’s ear
Julian, a two-month old pet monkey, bites the right ear of Kan, a transvestite performer, backstage at the Tiffany’s Show in Pattaya, Thailand, February 10, 2012. The first Tiffany’s Show was performed as a one-man show for friends on New Year’s Eve in 1974. It has since become a world famous transvestite cabaret with dozens of artists performing every night.
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Oh, and here’s a tiny monkey nibbling on a transvestite’s ear

Julian, a two-month old pet monkey, bites the right ear of Kan, a transvestite performer, backstage at the Tiffany’s Show in Pattaya, Thailand, February 10, 2012. The first Tiffany’s Show was performed as a one-man show for friends on New Year’s Eve in 1974. It has since become a world famous transvestite cabaret with dozens of artists performing every night.

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Meet the world’s first chimeric monkeys

It’s become fairly common in medical research to create chimeric mice— taking genomes from several different mice to make a mouse with the specific genetic properties you’re looking for— but until now, it’s never been tried with primates. But these two cute baby monkeys above are created from at least six different genomes to create a custom rhesus monkey.

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Morning cuteness: Little monkey gets a bath

These monkey squeaks are just about the cutest thing I’ve ever heard~

Whiplash the cowboy monkey rides through the west spreading taco luv…

There’s always room in your Thursday for a little Whiplash.

Found this beauty years and years ago on a Fark photoshop thread.  Target was the screaming monkey.  Seeing that everyone involved is dead (except maybe the monkey), I figured it was worth sharing.  Enjoy.

Found this beauty years and years ago on a Fark photoshop thread.  Target was the screaming monkey.  Seeing that everyone involved is dead (except maybe the monkey), I figured it was worth sharing.  Enjoy.

Short documentary: “Encounters with Orphan Monkeys”

Filmmaker Todd Bieber traveled to Costa Rica with his girlfriend, escaped the confines of their plush resort and stepped into the world of orphaned baby monkeys at the Nosara Wildlife Rescue. His short documentary film, Encounters with Orphan Monkeys, tells the story of how these monkeys were orphaned and what the good folks at the rescue are doing to help them.

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