The official line is that the government wants to stop the spread of diseases carried by the macaques and to curb animal abuse, but one look at the above photo, the underlying reason is pretty obvious— getting little monkeys to wear human baby masks and dance is just raw nightmare fuel stuff.
"A disoriented monkey was found wandering aimlessly outside an Ikea store in North York Sunday.
The animal sighting quickly sparked a flurry of activity among Torontonians, who tweeted and re-tweeted pictures and created at least two parody accounts on Twitter.
Dressed in a shearling coat and a diaper, the monkey managed to open its crate, unlock the car door and go for a stroll in the Ikea parking lot – clearly a “smart monkey” for having managed all that, said Toronto Police Staff Sergeant Ed Dzingala.”
Meet Cercopithecus lomamiensis or the Lesula, a primate species from the Democratic Republic of Congo that has been known to locals for some time, but only recently discovered to the outside scientific world. Look at that sad face.
Apparently, said zookeeper, at a zoo in China, saved the life of a rare Francois Leaf monkey by licking the primate’s anus for an hour until the monkey was able to pass a peanut that it had accidentally swallowed whole and was obstructing its intestine. I’m sure there are far better ways of getting out that peanut. And did the ass licking actually help, or did the peanut just come out on its own?
It’s become fairly common in medical research to create chimeric mice— taking genomes from several different mice to make a mouse with the specific genetic properties you’re looking for— but until now, it’s never been tried with primates. But these two cute baby monkeys above are created from at least six different genomes to create a custom rhesus monkey.