In a daring operation, a group of Palestinian women have been quickly smuggling their husband’s sperm out of jail that they then use to get pregnant. Considering that sperm doesn’t have a long shelf life outside of the human body, this operation relied on stealth and most importantly, speed.
For hundreds and hundreds of years, Christians have flocked to the city of Bethlehem in Israel as the site of the birth of Jesus. But new archaeological evidence shows that the Bethlehem that’s being worshipped is probably the wrong one. At the time when Jesus would have been born, it turns out there was a town of Bethlehem in Galilee, much closer to where Mary was living. Oops.
Ever since its modern creation, Israel has always used a heavy hand against the slightest provocation from its neighbors and enemies. But today, as Israel laid the hammer down on Hamas after rocket attacks from Gaza, they did so by liveblogging and tweeting the entire operation.
For decades, the role of Mary Magdalene in the story of Christianity has been hotly debated. What role did she play in Jesus’s life? Some historians consider her both a wife and disciple, while her story is stubbornly kept out of almost all Christian doctrine. A new discovery, a piece of ancient papyrus, refers to her as both— the wife and disciple of Jesus.
Rule 34 doesn’t even come close to this. In the 1960s, as many Israelis and Jews around the world were beginning to come to grips with the atrocities of the Holocaust, one of the ways some dealt with the trauma was through pulp pornographic Nazi-themed comic books called Stalags. These comics were never on full display, but nonetheless, they became best sellers throughout Israel.
People waking up in the morning and suddenly deciding they’re the Messiah is not a new thing. Hell, even Jesus wasn’t the first. But for some reason, in Jerusalem, it happens fairly often— people from around the world come to the Holy Land, visit the sites and then about once a week or more, someone gets the idea deeply embedded in their brain that they are Jesus, that they are the second coming of the Messiah.
With pushes for medical marijuana in many states across the US, you’d think that pot smokers were some incredibly health-conscious people. And while marijuana does have a number of pain-relieving health benefits, the point is that people just want to get high. So for the smarty-pants Israeli scientists who are so proud of themselves for developing weed that won’t get you high, you can keep that shit.
Israel: “GTFO and eat a sammich”
In a surprise piece of legislation, the state of Israel has banned models that are too skinny, saying that models, whether runway or advertising models, must meet certain weight and body mass index requirements before they can get paid. I think I shall call this the “Anti-Bag of Antlers” bill.