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Now you can finally make sweet, sweet love to your iPad with the FleshLiPad Holder (NSFW)

You like your iPad or Android tablet, right? You love it so much that you want to make sweet, sweet love to it, right? With the FleshLiPad, you can securely strap a Fleshlight to your tablet and hump it like a dog while looking at porn or Steve Jobs keynotes or whatever.

Via

posted 21 January, 2012
by cranberryzero
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Yes, there’s going to be a Fleshlight movie. And it’s called Fleshlightning.

Here’s the trailer for Fleshlightning (fucking brilliant title), the upcoming romcom raunchfest about a dude who gets a magical Fleshlight that causes him to unknowingly impregnate porn starlette Jenna Haze (which is impossible since she was born without a uterus).

And if all that didn’t sound balls-awesome enough, James Hong aka the dude who played Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China (ace movie!) plays the mystical Fleshlight salesman.

When cinema gold of this magnitude comes out, they should really just start handing out the Oscars early.

(via Badass Digest)

posted 20 July, 2011
by cranberryzero
reblogged from albotas
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Fleshlight wants to thank the members of SEAL Team 6 by sending them Fleshlights

It’s a nice gesture slash marketing ploy on the part of Fleshlight, but it makes me weep inside the think that the men that make up the group formerly known as SEAL Team 6 / DEVGRU whatever are humping handheld silicone. I would hope that instead, the government has provided them all with a lifetime supply of the finest and most skilled whores money can’t buy.

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Fleshlight. Good for dental hygiene, apparently.

And the good news is that you get a free disposable toothbrush with every order. Only from Dentist.net.

Link

Stoya’s “Screaming Pussy” Fleshlight promo (NSFW)

One of the cuter Fleshlight promo videos I’ve seen. And it’s got Stoya and a vague representation of Stoya’s vag and anus in silicone rubber.

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posted 01 February, 2011
by cranberryzero
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Nightmare fuel: A pair of Fleshlights singing “Afternoon Delight”

I refuse to stick my dick in those things until they stop singing. Pretty standard rules, really.

posted 16 December, 2010
by cranberryzero
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The unofficial Avatar Fleshlight is here. I don’t know why, but it is (Possibly NSFW)

I think the thing that bothers me the most about this Fleshlight is not that it’s blue and is supposed to suggest a piece of rubber Na’avi pussy, but that it looks like my female pit bull’s vag when she’s in heat. Minus the blue part. And because she’s unspayed, when she goes into heat, that fucking three-sided thing pulsates when she walks and it’s pretty gross to look at. Much like this here Fleshlight. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

(Source: toplessrobot.com)