Last year, there was a story going around about a new fertility treatment that could be used to prevent serious genetic conditions being passed from mother to child. The IVF procedure used the eggs from two women and the sperm from one man, creating a child from three biological parents. And now it looks like this procedure has gotten the green light in the UK.
You may think of sperm as just being completely mindless little cells, programmed to do two things: Follow a chemical trail upstream and implant itself in an egg if it runs into one. And yes, that’s essentially that’s all a sperm can do, but in following that chemical trail, the lowly sperm performs a kind of calculus to make sure it’s on target.
The way it’s worked since time began is that women get a certain number of eggs in their life, each one dripping away every month like sand through an hourglass until they’re done and that’s menopause. But now, scientists have discovered ovarian tissue that contains stem cells that can be used to create more human eggs.
Normally, if a guy needs his sperm count checked, it involves jerking off in someone else’s plastic cup and handing it to a person across a counter in your doctor’s office who possibly hates their job. But now, you can check your sperm count in the privacy of your own home, which is the best place to do your sperm extraction.
When are the most common times for having sex and making babies? Studies show that the most common birthday—the one shared by the largest number of people nationwide—is September 16. This means most babies are conceived during the winter holiday seasom. When else do couples get lucky? At midnight, during spring break, when it rains, and when they haven’t just lost their jobs, recent research reveals.
Fertility? Fuck that.
A couple years ago, there were studies done showing that keeping a warm laptop in your lap for extended periods of time could cause damage to sperm, and now there’s a possibility your Wi-Fi connection could be doing the same thing.
Right now, if you want to know if you’re shooting blanks or not, you have to go down to a fertility clinic or a urologist, jerk off in a plastic cup or take your plastic cup home to jerk off in the privacy of your own home, return the cup o’ jizz to the doctor and wait while someone counts your little swimmers under a microscope.
As it turns out, in terms of fertility, size does matter. But while men with both short and long tallywhackers have equal success in terms of reproduction, scientists have discovered that a different measurement seems to correlate with one’s ability to get someone knocked up.
“Don’t worry. Dr. Chuckles is gonna stick it in nice and slow. Like a gentleman.”
It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine, and now it turns out that laughter can help women get pregnant, at least in an IVF situation.
For the first time ever, an artificial ovary has been grown in a lab and has been used to mature human eggs. This breakthrough would allow women with bum ovaries to still have children, or it could give ovaries to post-op trannies or ovaries for anyone who wants them. So I might be reaching a bit, but in the future we’ll be able to do anything!
Scientists have been working on a male contraceptive pill for decades, but unlike the female version, a male contraceptive pill has proven to be elusive. The problem is that it’s much easier to stop ovulation without any long term side effects than it is to thwart sperm production. But a group in Israel now claims that it’s done just that.