Posts tagged with ‘canada

Hey world, missed Rob Ford? Here he is last week, totally shitfaced and having a good time talking in a shitty Jamaican accent

Yay Canada!

Former Canadian defense minister says aliens do exist

Canada’s former defense minister Paul Hellyer went on TV earlier this week to confirm that about 80 different species of extraterrestrials have been visiting Earth for thousands of years and they would share technology with us if we weren’t so crazy. Now you know.

Canadians build a working pickup truck out of solid ice, because they can. Because they can.

Specifically, Canadian Tire, which made a working heavy pickup out of 11,000 pounds of solid ice over a bare truck chassis just to show off the reliability of their batteries. Canada, you fly under the radar most of the time, and then you catch the world’s attention and just knock it out of the park.

Justin Bieber announces he’s retiring, and lo the angels sang, and it was the greatest Christmas present of all

On Twitter earlier today, Justin Bieber told the world he was retiring from music, and thus the wailing of ten million tweens was heard across the internet, and it was good.

Read the story here

Canada’s Supreme Court just struck down all anti-prostitution laws. Hell yeah Canadian hookers

In a landmark, world changing decision, the Supreme Court of Canada struck down the pillar of anti-prostitution laws in the country, basically paving the way for decriminalized brothel prostitution. This allows for greater security and stability for sex workers, and a boon for tourism to Canada. As if their strip clubs weren’t awesome enough, now Canadian hookers. God bless you Canada.

Read the story here

IHC After Dark: Canadian MP Brian Pallister wishes happy holidays to the “infidel atheists” out there

Just to prove we’ve got our share of dipshit politicians up here in Canada as well.

Ontario charged after beating a bear to death with a rock. He told you he was hardcore

An Ontario man has been charged after he hit a bear with his car and then proceeded to get out of the car and best the bear to death with a rock. Ya know, the kind of stuff that Canadians do because they just don’t give a fuck like that.

The 41-year-old man has been charged under the Ontario SPCA Act with causing an animal to be in distress, and failure to kill an animal by a method that is humane and minimizes the pain and distress to the animal.

Read more here

Also, Rob Ford says he’s too busy eating his wife’s pussy to eat anyone else’s pussy. This man is legend.

Yup, that’s what crack smoking, gang sign throwing Toronto mayor Rob Ford said at a press conference this morning. I wouldn’t feel right if I forgot to post this today. This fucker is surreal. The press conference was to address allegations Ford had made inappropriate statements about a staffer.

His words: “Oh and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. Olivia Gondek. I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

Even better, later today he completely denied saying that. At a live, televised press conference.

Read more here

First Nations Protest Sees Violence as RCMP Moves To End Protest in New Brunswick, Canada

After days of violent clashes between the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and members of the Elsipogtog Nation over shale gas exploration in eastern New Brunswick, police began imposing a curfew to try and push out the protestors. Molotov cocktails were hurled at police and dozens of RCMP vehicles were burned at the site of the protest, where native Elsipotog peoples were trying to protect their land from fracking.

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Canada wants to do the right thing, unbundle TV channels and offer them a la carte

For years, many cable and satellite TV subscribers around the world have started to wonder why they have to buy a full monthly package full of hundreds and hundreds of channels they never watch— why not just pay for the channels you want? Cable and satellite companies aren’t keen on that model and in the US, it looks like that will happen when Hell freezes over. Up in Canada however, politicians are looking to get channels unbundled, so you can buy them a la carte. Finally.

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Canadian Maple Syrup Heist To See Big Screen Adaptation

The massive theft of an estimated $18 million worth of maple syrup from a storage facility in Quebec last year is set to become a Hollywood movie.

Sony Pictures has announced plans to make a film based on the theft, with comic actor Jason Segel in line to star.

Seth Gordon, whose last movie was the hit comedy Identity Thief, will direct. Family Guy writer Chris Sheridan is slated to write the script

Read more here

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