I Heart Chaos

Why should taxpayers pay banks $83 billion a year to stay afloat?

Since the financial meltdown of 2008, banks now have been incentivized to become even bigger, knowing that the larger they are and the more they have their tentacles into every tiny aspect of everyone’s lives, the more they fall into the “too big to fail” category, making them immune from prosecution and ensuring a steady stream of government subsidies to keep them profitable and healthy.

posted 26 February, 2013
by cranberryzero
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Elizabeth Warren asks bank regulators the most obvious question, doesn’t get an answer

Senator Elizabeth Warren was grilling bank regulators on why not a single bank or bank executive has been brought to trial for their fuck-ups, and not a single regulator could give a straight answer.

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posted 15 February, 2013
by cranberryzero
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About a decade ago I quit Bank of America because of a scheme they invented that would rearrange your transactions largest to smallest so they could hit you with numerous overdraft fees with the same amount of over drafted money. They did this to me once and I paid them, closed the account and never looked back. I was later named in a class action lawsuit. I didn’t bother to exclude myself. Today I got my “settlement”, about 1% of the amount I was required to pay in. Yeah, that’ll fucking teach ‘em!

LIBOR: There is an international banking conspiracies, and it’s run by dumbasses

Lately, the news news and internet news have picked up on LIBOR, the international banking interest rates standard and how’s it’s set by a group of chaps in London to suit their own whims. There is in fact an international banking conspiracy, but it’s not run by Bond villains or Lex Luthor, trying to build some gigantic sun laser… it’s run by a small group of old tweed jacket lunch buddies in London who are just trying to be cool around each other.

Massive electronic bank failure in the UK forces thousands to remember what life was like 50 years ago

NatWest, one of the largest banks in Britain, suffered a massive electronic infrastructure failure earlier this week, forcing branches around the country to open their doors on Saturday and Sunday to allow customers to come in and withdraw cash.

Need somewhere secure to store all of your gold coins and fire flowers? Look no further.

I would so invest all of my money here.

OWS isn’t dead, instead it’s rapidly evolving: Meet the OWS Alternative Banking Group

When the Occupy movements and protests occupied most of the news coverage for much of last year, there seemed to be two main stereotypes: a) OWS was nothing but privileged college students protesting for no reason and b) Nothing would come of it, since there didn’t seem to be any main, focusing message. Just because the Occupy protests have mainly died down doesn’t mean they’ve gone away. They’ve just gone inside and started working on the real problems. Meet the Alternative Banking Group.

Before he was famous, Stephen Colbert was in this commercial for FirsTier Bank

Way before Strangers With Candy, The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert was paying the bills by doing gigs like this spot for FirsTier Bank in Nebraska.

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posted 15 November, 2011
by cranberryzero
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Occupy Wall Street: Bank of America blocks customers from coming into the bank and closing their account

Okay, so regardless of the purpose, if you’ve got an angry mob standing outside your business asking, nay demanding to come inside, it’s reasonable to stop them. On the other hand, this whole thing makes BoA look like dickholes. I mean they are a bunch of dickholes anyway, but there could have been an orderly progression if people legitimately want to come in and close their account and not just come in and trash the place.

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posted 09 October, 2011
by cranberryzero
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Trader tells the truth: It’s investment firms like Goldman Sachs that rule the world, not governments

So Goldman Sachs, not governments rule the world and stock traders dream of recession and depression. Basically were fucked! Sleep tight everyone!

IHC After Dark: Bizarre Russian bank commercial involves mannequins, sex dolls and more

The woman near the end of the commercial asks if we know the difference between us and them. They live in a spider web while we live in the Internet. So, from now on we will act.

“When the Tomb explodes there’s also a vocal of V.Tsoi from underground soviet era rock band Kino singing the same line ‘from now on we will act’.”

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This is what your ATM receipt would look like if you had nearly $100 million in the bank

This ATM receipt was left behind at a Hamptons, Long Island Capital One bank. It’s good to know that I’ll see this at least once in my lifetime. I might print it out and carry it with me for good luck or something.

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If you were working at a bank in the Caribbean, you’d be chillin’ on the beach right about now.

Banks are threatening to limit debit card swipes to $50-$100, but it may all be hooey

Banks are pretty pissed off at new regulations that would limit the per-use fees of debit and credit cards to 12 cents a swipe, which banks claim will cut their profits by 70% and cause mass hysteria, dogs and cats living together etc. But it’s a load of bullcrap and the banks know it, but they’re still mad, so they’re threatening to put a cap on debit card transactions to either $50 or $100, basically to force people to rack up more transactions.