I Heart Chaos

In North Hollywood this week apartment hunting for my new internship in Burbank. Anyone have any suggestions as to where a guy can find a good time around here? -Evi1 B — asked by mondomongo

I don’t know, but I hear California… knows how to party.

So, saw on post just now on Facebook from Slipknot saying that Roadrunner Records has gone under but can't find any mention of it anywhere else. Anyone got any news on this? — asked by Anonymous

It looks like they’re just closing down some international offices and downsizing, but not completely shutting down.

So, I saw the new Avengers movie today. It was awesome! It came out here in New Zealand on Wednesday. I'm surprised it's not out in the States yet, that's kinda weird. Something for all you Yanks to look forward to. — asked by Anonymous

DAMN YOU.

I'm 19 years old and sadly I can't say I'm out having fun, clubbing, being wild or anything young people my age do. I only go to college, go home and do my work. I spend a lot of time on here because it's the only way to connect with people. At college everyone seems too busy to even hold a conversation that's not related to school so I don't even bother. How do I get myself out of this cave and go do something fun? — asked by geeabby12

Find the smart, creative and weird people. They’ll end up being your friends for life.

I'm a girl. I'm also a pornographer. However, whenever I'm done masturbating, I experience a horrible, unbearable pain in my legs that is so bad that it causes me to sob and convulse. I don't want to stop masturbating, but I also don't want to be in that much pain. I'm too embarrassed to ask my doctor about it. What do I do? — asked by Anonymous

Not to be rude, but considering you’re already in the pornography biz, you probably have videos that could be submitted to IHC NSFW that might be helpful in site readers analyzing your technique. For your health.

my gal just dumped me. and i think the girl i lost my virginity to 17 years ago wants to fuck me. she lives 2 states away, is married and has two kids. One of here kids is a teenager. Im enjoying our flirtatious texts and hope to get some scandalous pics but i dont want anything more, and i really dont want her to visit me because ill most likely put my penis in or around her moistest of all orifices. So my question is what is the plural of orifice, oriffi? orrify? — asked by Anonymous

Orifeces?

I signed my friend up for Christian Mingle, but they wanted money before he could start getting loads of emails. Are there any good free sites out there or does this practical joke have to cost money? — asked by Anonymous

You might try looking through Something Awful’s Forum Fridays archives… they’ve found lots of fun, crazy and trollable sites.

I need help IHC!!!!, for the last 2 weeks i cant get Macarthur Park by Richard Harris out of my head. The Lyrics are so beautifully stupid that the song both angers and allures me at the same time. My Wife is seriously about to beat me to death with a frying pan if i dont stop muttering the Lyrics everywhere i go. My only solution is to find a more catchy yet retarded song to transfer my focus to. Recommend me one? Please! — asked by Anonymous

“Tie My Pecker to My Leg” by Mojo Nixon frequently gets stuck in my head. It’s a good one.

Anyone from the IHC community coming to Kinetik festival in Montreal in a few weeks? — asked by megaalex

What is this le festival you speak of?

G'day IHC! Today is ANZAC Day, a memorial day for the Australian & New Zealand Army Corps. Troops from Australia and New Zealand have always fought alongside the US, Britain & other Allied forces and were first names ANZACs in WW1. I know a lot of American military personnel visit and post on your site so I'm just inviting everyone to join the Aussies and us Kiwis in remembering our fallen soldiers. Cheers! — asked by Anonymous

Oh, you mean tomorrow, April 25th. We’re still in the past here in the western hemisphere.

I'm going on a vacation in the next couple weeks and need some reading material for the week. Something entertaining and thought-provoking but not too deep or time-consuming. I'm too busy watching the hockey playoffs to spend any time to figure it out. Can you or the IHC army help? — asked by the-mighty-hoff

Breakfast of Champions by Vonnegut

what is the quickest way for me to lose the respect of my coworkers? — asked by Anonymous

Introduce them to IHC.

So I bought a DS a while ago, like back when Pokemon Heart Gold/Soul Silver came out. Heart Gold and White are the only two games I own for this thing. Thinking I should prolly invest in some more games, but I'm not sure what as I've never been a Nintendo guy, so I'm new to all things Nintendo that isn't Pokemon. I like RPG's, good ones obviously. But I'm not closed to other options as well (saw that New Super Mario Bros got pretty nice reviews). — asked by skaicandy

There are a couple good Dragon Quest games for the DS and I’m also a big fan of the Scribblenauts and Professor Layton games.