Oklahoma high school teacher shows up for the first day back to work drunk and pantsless. Stay classy Oklahoma teachers
Earlier this week, on the first day back to school for teachers, a Wagoner, Oklahoma teacher Lorie Ann Hill was arrested after a fellow teacher found her passed out drunk and sans pantalones on the first day back to school for teachers. Apparently, Ms Hill had been downing vodka in her car right before she went into the school, and the empty classroom I guess just seemed like the right place to go pantsless.
World Health Organization ranks the world’s heaviest drinking countries, your country probably didn’t make the cut
Recently the World Health Organization (WHO?) released a list of the hardest drinking countries on the planet, and congratulations eastern Europe, your gray, post Iron Curtain despair makes the rest of the planet look like lightweights.
The top ten, based on the consumption of pure alcohol per year per person is below. The US clocked in at 9.2 liters, the UK at 11.6, global average is 6.2.
-Belarus – 17.5 liters
-Republic of Moldova – 16.8 liters
-Lithuania – 15.4 liters
-Russian Federation – 15.1 liters
-Romania – 14.4 liters
-Ukraine – 13.9 liters
-Andorra – 13.8 liters
-Hungary – 13.3 liters
-Czech Republic and Slovakia – 13 liters
-Portugal – 12.9 liters
A whiskey shortage? Don’t be silly… whiskey is forever. Ah, but no. See, America has actually gotten pretty damn good at making the stuff, which is good for everyone. But this means that America is now exporting its fine brown liquor overseas, from both distilleries large and small. And it’s not really a supply problem, though that’s part of it— it’s more about the fact that whiskey takes a damn long time to distill, and supply is outstripping the actual available amount of finished whiskey. So that’s not good.
For about as long as we’ve been drinking alcohol, someone has had some idea of something you could take first if you want to drink more without getting totally shitfaced. But as it turns out, the absolute best thing is live yeast— yes, the thing that you make beer from in the first place. For every beer you expect to drink, eat a spoonful of live yeast first and when the alcohol hits your stomach, the yeast will break alcohol down into its non-alcohol component parts before it hits your bloodstream.