It makes me feel old to thing that some of you might either be in high school right now or are just out of high school. I graduated in 96, which now feels like a zillion years ago. But however long ago it’s been for you, who was either the best or worst teacher that you remember?
My worst teachers were third and sixth grade. Third grade was Mrs. Matthews. She was old and had been there forever and was a total controlling bitch who seemed to like to pick on me personally, making an example out of me whenever she could and making me stand in front of class while she insulted me. That was an awesome year.
Sixth grade was Mrs. DeFord, who was this fat old wrinkly hag with this red Bride of Frankenstein ‘do. Coming into sixth grade, she was the teacher everyone absolutely feared, and for good reason. She was also a completely evil bitch who would give you a zero if you dared try to show any sort of creativity or if you tried to think outside the box on an assignment. Once, we had a project in which we had to make a poster to explain a certain climate zone and I ended up with tundra. So I made a poster that was both informative and entertaining it by making it look like an old Hollywood poster of a Jack London novel and she gave me a zero on the assignment, saying that I was trying to be clever and she hated it when people tried to be clever, so she was going to punish me for it. She also gave me a zero on the second day of class because I forgot to return some sheet that I was supposed to have gotten my parents to sign. Like in third grade, she sat me in the front of class and made me write a letter to my parents explaining how I got a zero because I couldn’t follow directions that I had to get signed instead. She said that “every year there’s always one” and that she did this to prove that she was serious about giving zeros at the drop of a hat if you didn’t follow her instructions to a T.