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Mitch McConnell filibusters himself. Mitch McConnell is a fucking twat.

Mitch McConnell, the talking turtle from Kentucky who has been getting his panties in a twist lately because the Democrats want to change the filibuster rules back to how they used to be— when if you wanted to delay a bill, you actually had to make an ass of yourself in the process— put forth a bill that he then himself filibustered, because he’s a twat like that.

Today, McConnell proposed a vote to majority leader Harry Reid on a bill that would allow President Barack Obama to lift the debt ceiling and avoid the fiscal cliff unless two-thirds of Congress voted to stop him. McConnell — who last year called a similar proposal a “last-choice option” — was trying to prove that the Democrats wouldn’t agree to a vote on a bill to give the President that power because they can’t muster enough votes for it to pass, thus weakening the President’s stance on the fiscal cliff. Unfortunately for McConnell, Reid was like, “uh, okay,” and called for an up-or-down vote on the Senate floor.

McConnell, of course, had no intention of taking a vote, which is why he called for it in the first place. This led to the stunning sight of McConnell, one of the most powerful Republicans in Washington (nominally, anyway), filibustering his own bill and, in turn, himself. This is what Reid had to say on the Senate floor after all this nonsense went down.

“What we have here is a case of the Republicans here in the Senate once again not taking yes for an answer,” Reid said. “This morning the Republican leader asked consent to have a vote on his proposal. Just now I told everyone we’re willing to have that vote, an up-or-down vote, and now the Republican leader objects to his own idea, so I guess we have a filibuser of his own bill.”

And this is why we can’t have nice things.


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