Charlie Sheen's rants offending real life warlocks. Fuck warlocks. Fuck them and their fear and DOTs.

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Charlie Sheen’s rants offending real life warlocks. Fuck warlocks. Fuck them and their fear and DOTs.

Open your mouth these days and some asshole’s going to get offended. Like warlocks. But who really cares if you offend a warlock? What are they going to do, anyway?

After Sheen declared himself a “Vatican assassin warlock” during a radio interview last week … an actual, practicing warlock from Salem’s Coven of the Raven Moon in Salem, Massachusetts told us he’s “fuming” over the statement because it’s a “blatant offense against our ways.” The warlock — named Christian Day (pictured above) — tells us he plans to take action against the actor … not legal action — but magical action. Day explains, “I am going to magically bind Mr. Sheen, not to harm him, but to simply prevent him from using this word in such a negative manner in the future.” Day continues, “If Mr. Sheen is open to it, our coven would be willing to perform a cleansing on both him, his home, and his career.”

Oooh, that’s scary.