Here’s a good piece of advice from me to you: If your extracurricular activities are so fucked up that your local officials are like “Fuck, this is fucked up and there isn’t even a law for it. We need to pass a law just for this one fucked up individual”, just maybe you should get a new hobby.
Such is the case with Alan Patton of Dublin, Ohio. Mr. Patton has a thing for collecting the urine of strangers from public restrooms, but there wasn’t specifically a law on the books that said that he couldn’t. So in the name of squashing out one guys’ good time, the town of Dublin passed a law specifically prohibiting the collection of someone else’s bodily fluids.
And of course, Mr. Patton, being a connoisseur of such things, went at it again and now faces conviction under the selfsame law that he inspired.
According to the Delaware County Sheriff’s office, on Oct. 29 at about 7 p.m., an off-duty deputy encountered a suspicious person in the men’s restroom at Burger King, located at 8667 Columbus Pike, in Lewis Center.
After several minutes of observing unusual behavior and attempting to speak to the man, the deputy determined that the man had inserted materials into the toilet for the purpose of collecting urine from the patrons at the Burger King.
Deputies said that it was suspected that Patton targeted the restaurant because it has a play area where children are known to gather.
”The deputy followed the subject to the parking lot and observed him getting into a tan 1993 Buick Park Avenue,” said Sheriff Walter Davis in a news release. ”The vehicle’s registration came back to Alan Patton.”
Patton has had multiple incidents involving the collection of urine from central Ohio restrooms.
In June 2008, Patton was arrested at Sports Ohio, where police said that he attempted to collect urine from a boy using the restroom.