Joss Whedon bids $10k for the Terminator franchise [I Heart Movies]

After Terminator Salvation didn't do quite as well as expected at the box office, the current owner Halcyon has mentioned that the rights to the franchise will be up for auction, with bidding expected to go as high as $60 million. But Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and Dollhouse, wrote an open letter to Halcyon on his blog offering the paltry sum of 10 grand. The offer may be far-fetched, but it's gotten Whedon fans wondering how he might change the franchise.

From Whedon's blog:

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer). Sincerely, Joss Whedon.


Royonic's picture

Hasta La Vista, Boramir!

Hasta La Vista, Boramir!

FNORD's picture

joss whedon

is a genius. that is all.

What, like you're so great?

zero's picture

he probably

he probably would bring the series back to life

Greedo shot first!

paulywog's picture

I hope someone with some

I hope someone with some talent buys this up.  Not to say that Joss Whedon lacks in the talent, but I doubt the $10k offer will go through.  Halcyon kinda sucks.  I might have only enjoyed Terminator Salvation and The Sarah Connor Chronicles because of my love of guns, time travel, and cyborgs.

More asians please.

CaptnandDiet's picture

All

All I know is there is a section with a bunch of beautiful asses about three spaces up.  Thank you

ishldgetoutmore's picture

One Word...

... J. J. Abrams.

 

Okay, well, technically that's three words, and they're not words, they're names...

 

I'll shut up now.

mynameisfyl's picture

Now don't get me wrong...

Star Trek was great and so is Lost....

...but seriously he loses a whole lot of street cred from Cloverfield.  That was such a pile of horrible.

mynameisfyl's picture

THIS kind of writing is why I

THIS kind of writing is why I love me some Joss Whedon....

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