DC Sniper gets death penalty... blah blah. The better question is: What's the most awesome method of execution? [News]

Breaking news from earlier this afternoon: DC sniper mastermind John Allen Muhammed will die next month by lethal injection. Like that was a surprise. If grown-ups can't play nice and kill other people, that's usually what happens. What I found interesting in the article from the AP is that a) he had his choice of exection-- lethal injection or electrocution and b) that he was only offered 2, pretty lame methods of execution. What, no gas chamber? No hanging or firing squad? Not even the option of getting pushed into a pit full of spikes?

So it got me thinking-- what's the most awesome method of execution? Really, any form of execution is equally barbaric. Even lethal injection, which was supposed to be "humane" may have the nasty flaw that it's actually a pretty excruciating death, only the person can't express it. Personally, I think we should bring back the guillotine. It's quick, it's instantaneous and with modern technology, I'm sure we could build one that overcomes previous designs. Add some ball bearings, a high speed hydraulic actuator and a surgically sharp steel blade and voila!

But if you were, for some reason, in the position of being asked to pick how you would die and you could pick anything, what would it be? Eaten by lions? Dipped in liquid nitrogen and smashed with a sledgehammer? Shot in the back of the head with an elephant gun? Having your heart carved out with a flint knife?


Donkey's picture

isnt the point of execution

Submitted by Donkey on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 15:21.

isnt the point of execution for it to be painful and horrible? I mean, after all, this is a punishment.

 

That being said, Ill take one on one gladiatorial combat, with dragons... that have tongue penises.

—

A donkey always says thank you with a kick

Spunky Brewster's picture

No, not necessarily

Submitted by Spunky Brewster on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 22:49.

At least not in the modern age.  Guillotine, hanging, firing squad, lethal injection, all relatively quick and painless.  Gas chamber, electric chair... not so much. 

As near as I can figure, the rationale is: you kill someone, the Government kills you back, only better.

ROBOTARMS's picture

 I was going to say firing

Submitted by ROBOTARMS on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 15:44.

 I was going to say firing squad, lit cigarette,  blindfolded, public,...firing squad will be composed of elementary school children...

but dragons sounds pretty cool...

—

You fucking mo-mo, what's the matter with you?

Donkey's picture

Thats awesome

Submitted by Donkey on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 15:59.

But imagine NOT being blindfolded, and seeing all their terrified faces while you taunt them to shoot you

—

A donkey always says thank you with a kick

zero's picture

one choice comes to mind

Submitted by zero on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 16:30.

—

Greedo shot first!

Naly D's picture

Make 'em re-enact the sniper

Submitted by Naly D on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 17:10.

Make 'em re-enact the sniper scene from Full Metal Jacket, goddamn that bullet that takes off the bottom of your foot would be pure pain and malice.

Skyn Canvas's picture

Being wrapped in wet and

Submitted by Skyn Canvas on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 18:12.

Being wrapped in wet and untanned leather, staked by your arms and legs to the ground in the middle of the desert.  That way as the sun bakes the leather, it shrinks, and literally crushes you to death.  Actually, I think you suffocate, the constricting leather keeping you from breathing, but still.  End result is a dead body half the size it started out as ^_^  For added view pleasure, if its a dude make a slit for his junk, as it tightens, the blood will build up in his unit till it explodes.  That would be a nice anti-rape campaign.

Thereisnospoon's picture

catapult outta town?

Submitted by Thereisnospoon on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 18:26.

catapult outta town?

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Thereisnospoon

Phillyredsox's picture

While...

Submitted by Phillyredsox on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 20:19.

....being shot at with something heat-seaking.  That, or strap a bunch of grenades to him or a bomb or something and drop him over North Korea and watch them freak out.  Ha, that would be awesome.

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www.youtube.com/gympproductions

War Horse's picture

High altitude drop without a

Submitted by War Horse on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 19:30.

High altitude drop without a chute. 

Phillyredsox's picture

I always liked...

Submitted by Phillyredsox on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 20:20.

...dawing and quartering.  I think that seems the most fun and most painful.  Win win.

—

www.youtube.com/gympproductions

BabesnMecha's picture

Being fucked to death by a

Submitted by BabesnMecha on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 21:07.

Being fucked to death by a life draining sucubbus. Its better than dragons...

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LOLI CAN I HAS SOME LOLI?

yass's picture

here's an idea

Submitted by yass on Wed, 10/28/2009 - 03:04.

being hummiliated by the girl who ripped youre heart out in front of children and then eaten slowly to death by vulchures and right before you die they make a hole in your chest and a big man rips your heart out litteraly.

irondog59's picture

I think

Submitted by irondog59 on Wed, 10/28/2009 - 08:35.

I think the "Brazen Bull" is the way to  go.in this case.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazen_bull

—

Can someone get me out of here?

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