Well well well... even Fleshlight is getting into the Halloween spirit this year with their vampire themed "Succu Dry" rubbery masturbation toy. It's like a regular Fleshlight, only with rubber fangs on it. Combine that with the chilled Twilight dildo and you've got yourself one hell of a Halloween masturbation party.

The Squeel, a new sex toy from Love Honey, is a bizarre chainsaw-like sex toy with 10 tongues that laps at your lady parts with reckles abandon. It also looks like it could buff your floors and get scratches out of a CD. That's what I use mine for. I swear. Read the spine-tingling review here at My Sex Professor.

Adam Frucci of Gizmodo took the brave step of trying out the Fleshlight Motion-- which is essentially just an ottoman with a fake vagina on one side-- so you don't have to go through the shame and embarassment of doing so yourself. And no, sadly, he doesn't hump the motion in the video below, but he just talks about the normal Fleshlight.

Fleshlight, the company that has sold who knows how many gazillion pocket-sized rubber vaginas, has unveiled the next step in inanimate object humping-- the Fleshlight Motion-- essentially, it's just a set of Liberator foam sex wedges with holes cut in them for your Fleshlight so that you can have something to grab ahold of while you scream YOU LIKE THAT? YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU, YOU DIRTY BITCH! See the whole line here at Fleshlight.

Condoms can be such a pain in the butt to put on... start fumbling with it to long, getting it on your giant dick and suddenly your lady friend is all like "Pfft, Gray's Anatomy is on, I'm gonna go do that." But with the Helping Hand Condom Applicator, those worries are a thing of the past. Just don't stick it in the wrong hole. Via: Whip It Out Comedy

In the world of sex toys, you have your Fleshlights and your dildos and anal beads and whatnot, but the Concubine Masturbator is sort of like your Swiss Army knife of sex toys. It's got a dick (albeit a sort of short one), a rubber pussy and tits. And surprisingly, it's not Japanese, though I'm sure there's a lot of these sold in Japan.

I used to work as a graphic designer for a subsidary of Adam & Eve, so I'm well aware that companies that sell sex toys or review sex toys get a fuckload of free samples from companies that want you to review your dildos and sex swings and shit, so it takes a lot to shock you. But when Penthouse opened up a box that they expected to contain the normal butt plugs, Fleshlights and anal beads, they were not prepared for... THE FIST HORN.

Dogs are incredibly uncooth and ill mannered beasts. If they're hungry, they'll eat cat shit. If they're curious about your whereabouts, they have no problem burying their head deep into your crotch, no matter who's looking. If they're horny, they'll hump your leg or your furniture or your pillow without a single "Please" or "Thank you". Fortunately, a company in Brazil has created the world's first sex toy for male dogs who have nothing else to do but disgrace your things in the absence of a lady friend.