This bizarre blast from the past is the 1982 commercial for the Spiderman game for the Atari 2600. It's cheesy, yes and it makes one wonder what I found so damn appealing about the 2600 when I was a kid, but more importantly it confirms my strong dislike for Green Goblin. He's just a dumb fucking villain-- Spidey can do much better. Via: Topless Robot

You ever hear or see something on a commercial that you can't believe they said?

Well there is a new WTF ad starring Anthony Sullivan....you know the guy who replaced Billy Mays.

You remember those days when companies made a killing with rackets like "Call this 900 number to talk to He-Man... no really, the real He-Man. For only $2 for the first minute, 45 cents for each additional minute!" And then you'd go to your mom and she'd say "no" and then you go to your dad and he smacks you across the mouth for even asking  and then you call anyway, knowing that you're going to get a beating, but oh it's so worth it just to talk to He-Man! That was awesome.

Have you ever had a can of soda and thought "God damn this pop-top! It's too damn hard to operate! I wish this fucking thing had a screw cap!" With Bottle Top, an ugly hunk of plastic with a screw top, your prayers have been answered.

I sort glass. That's my job. Also, is "retarded" like "colored", where it's not considered derogatory when it's part of the name of an advocacy organization? I think ARC should be NAARP-- it's funner to say.

About a year or two ago, North Carolina finally joined the rest of the world with a state lottery. Of course, as to not piss off the religious fundies, it's not gambling, it's "for the children"-- and "education" lottery, which is a fancy way for the governor to slash school funding with the promise that it'll be repaid by stupid people buying scratch-off tickets.

YOUR RICE IS SAD THIS BARBECUE PORK IS THE BEST BARBECUE PORK EVER IT WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE A CHINESE WOMAN SO YOU COULD COVER YOURSELF IN SAUCE AND ROLL AROUND IN THE PORK! THANKS TO MAGNETHEAD FOR THE MOST HONORABLE LINK!

Yup, the Atari Jaguar was 64 bit. That's some crazy hardcore technology for 2009. Okay, yes, I realize that it's a completely unfair comparison, considering that PCs have had the technology to run in 64 bit for a long time, but because of 32 bit apps that wouldn't run in 64, it's not that PCs couldn't run in 64 bit, it's that it didn't make sense to. Whatever. But it does give me a good excuse to link to an old Atari Jaguar commercial. The Jaguar was an awesome fucking console... too bad I accidently smoked mine.

Shit, I didn't even know that something like cheese curry existed, let alone that there was an entire industry built around it or that there was more than one commercial for such a product. But in fact, at least 6 of them exist and they're all pretty much equally bizarre. You can see the whole list here at YouTube Comedy.