Nothing says “Oh, it’s on!” like brand new shiny websites [Politics Suck]

Nary 24 hours since Barack was crowned the King of the Democrats and already, the busted up love triangle is reflecting the solid, undeniable fact that Obama is the man of the hour, the man to beat in November.

First off is the brand new splash on the official Democratic Party site, which I’ve illustrated a bit so you might be able to see some of the subtleties:

And what makes it funnier is that the “Thank you Hillary” graphic doesn’t even go anywhere… you go into the website and it’s OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA fuck McCain OBAMA. Not really that they need to dedicate a whole lot of time to Hillary, but the tiny graphic just sort of seems a little patronizing.

And if you go to the contribute site, you’ll notice… wow it goes up to $2000 and then other… as in “Hey big spender, you can contribute as much as you fucking want to the party… no limits here”.

And then there’s John McCain’s new site… oh boy is there McCain’s new site. You may or may not remember, but McCain used to have a very stark, very depressing black, white and gray site. Very stern, very POW. Well, oh well how that can change:

Wait, that’s not the terrorist ball-kicking bastard so many know and love… it looks like… some old guy either campaigning for Obama or ripping off Obama’s schtick because apparently it works and the crusty old bastard thing doesn’t work so well.

I mean, he’s ripped off the color scheme, he’s ripped off the fonts and the sun rays and the amber waves of stripes. He even ripped off Obama’s signature catchphrase. He’s no longer “I’m gonna kick every terrorist in the balls” McCain, he’s Ol’Grandpa “Leader we can believe in”.

It’s interesting that despite the mini quasi-controversies that Obama has been involved in lately, he’s still the market leader– for months, every candidate has ripped off his marketing in some way or another.

Dear John McCain: I’m no professional political advisor, but I don’t think you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell to get the cool, hip youth vote, so really, stop trying. I know you’re really clever and all on SNL, but the people who vote for you aren’t going to be voting for you because they love you intensely and want to have your baby, but because they really dislike Obama or because they’d rather have their eyeballs scooped out with a melon baller before voting Democrat and you’re the only Republican left. You’ll be 72 fucking years old by January. You can’t play off the young guy out to change Washington thing. I know you used to be known as a maverick, but in the last couple years, you’ve done nothing but try face after face and faggoty sweater after faggoty sweater to try and revamp your image at the last minute to something– anything– that’s appealing. STOP IT. Play on your strengths. Don’t try to be Obama because you’ll fucking fail miserably.

Sincerly, I Heart Chaos

Oh, and just to close the deal– if you missed McCain’s speech last night, his incredibly awful, uncomfortable, “look at me, I’m a cool guy” speech to a few dozen people in an old bingo hall sort of thing, here it is, getting torn limb from limb by every major news network. It really was bad. Really bad.