Fake 10 year old writes serial killers, celebs– crazylarity ensues [I Heart Internets]

In the late ’90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart had a little too much time on his hands and a surfeit of stamps. So, for his own entertainment, the then-unemployed thirtysomething launched a letter-writing campaign to some of the most powerful and infamous figures in the country, posing as a curious 10-year-old named Billy.
To his surprise, replies soon started pouring in. Everyone from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld (on tree-fort diplomacy) to Oprah Winfrey, Mister Rogers, Janet Reno, and members of the Supreme Court had words of wisdom for Billy. (”I like the Egg McMuffin,” wrote Justice Clarence Thomas when asked about his favorite McDonald’s food. “Actually, I like almost everything there.”) Responding to Billy’s idea for a “Hustler for kids,” Larry Flynt wrote back encouraging the fourth grader to “Hang in there. You’ll be 18 before you know it.”

As it turns out, no group hates to disappoint a child more than convicted killers, all of whom responded promptly to Billy’s questions about dropping out of school. Their letters, published here for the first time, range from criminally insane to downright sensible, offering snapshots of the personalities behind some of America’s most hideous crimes.

Click here to read all of Billy’s letters and responses via Radar.

Oh, and if you can’t make heads or tails of Manson’s crazy fucking letter above, here’s the translation:

To: Billy
From: Charles Manson
Received: January 7, 2008

Hay Lo Soul,
Good To Too Two 2 here from you. I thought things got so good for you that you just 4 GOT WHAT you could of remembered or could remember what you don’t forgit. Where is your mind—must you watch TV all day to go to night school to be a D.A. JUST to forgit I didn’t take your money when I had ALL your credit cards locked up in [continued on second page] my dreams—Rife with Con Va Lution due 2 subjewgashen. My spelling got better—see when you go to school you learn to spell—oh well I’m just playing clown words to say I didn’t forgit Hellbilly—Bill we always had good days + I’m glad your gonna be a D.A. Be one who works for justice + not one who wants to win win + and don’t care if people didn’t do rong—anyway be as good as you are when you git a job + don’t let the job make you bad you make the JOB good.
Easy Charles Manson

Letter Marginalia:
You even typing now—Cool. A HILLBILLY that can type—FAR OUT.
I know if you payed what you owe you would be brok brok in like broak ones a panter brock + that they is a crook.