GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you [I Heart Internets]
Okay, normally, I refrain from posting stuff from Craigslist because well, I don’t know, I just usually don’t. There’s only so many hours in a day. However– this one, considering it’s right in my area, I figure I’d go ahead and post it and see if maybe any IHCers local to the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill, NC area might be able to help this sad sap out.
This is in casual encounters, which is often one of the saddest and funniest section of Craigslist– people who are attracted anonymously to strangers, neighbors, relatives, whatever. This one is an anonymous open love letter to a girl that works at the Game Stop in University Mall in Chapel Hill, which is only about 30-40 minutes or so from my house, so maybe some day I could help this girl find this anonymous creep, perhaps she needs a stalker. Probably not.
Anyway, you can view the ad here as long as it’s up, but I’m reprinting it below in case it disappears:
Dearest GameStop Girl,
When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.
You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I’d still want to share it with you.
Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.
So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I’ll just use this knife over here. I’ll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday - someday - you and me could be a Wii.
Really, how fucking sweet is that?
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Points for Peter Davison though. Although, it does look like he's taken something to the head doesn't it o.O 
that was actual very interesting, this guy is obviously very smart and savvy, and his commitment to a story is ...
Welcome to 2 fuckin years ago
Comment by delsydsoftware on 20 April 2008:
I have seen a few cute girls working at the Gamestop in University Mall over the years, but I’m betting that most of them were still in high school. And no, that’s not my ad. :)
Pingback by craigslist raleigh on 4 May 2008:
[...] in a day.? However?? this one, considering it??s right in my area, I figure I??d go ahead and posthttp://www.iheartchaos.com/2008/04/20/gamestop-girl-i-want-to-kill-robotic-zombie-terrorists-with-yo…’This time it’s different,’ cash-strapped say El Paso TimesBy Anne D’InnocenzioAssociated PressNEW [...]