Hot Thespian action: The 10 greatest moments in porn acting (SFW-ish) [I Heart Kink]

Admit it, you watch porn just for the high theatrical quality.  Right?  Right.  Okay, so the reason that the adult industry has their own acting awards is that it makes them feel better because no one in porn is going to win an Oscar any time soon, but reading lines with conviction and getting into character aren’t really the qualities a porn director looks for in an actor or an actress.

The following vids are video SFW for the most part, but probably not the audio.  And it’s pretty amazing that you can get porn clips on Youtube.

10. John Holmes in Dickman & Throbbin
A masked Holmes gets a woman all ready for action just by the sultry sound of his voice.

9. Ron Jeremy is dumber than a blowup doll.
Fuck ugly Super Mario-esque porn star Ron Jeremy plays a lousy register jockey.

8. Woman saved by rubber snake by daring Canadian
Ice Cube in Anaconda has nothing on this brave Canuck, battling for his life against this giant rubber garden menace. Stick around for the last line, you knew it was coming.

7. Blowjobus interruptus
There are things worse than getting interrupted when you’re about to get a blowjob. Getting strangled with a towel would be one of those things.

6. Blonde refuses to give a blowjob for $40.
Though I’m not sure why she’s so hesitant to give a bargain basement BJ to a redneck that trains fighting pit bulls in his living room.

5. Single White Female would have been much better with double-headed dildos.
A girl greets her friend with a bag full of dildos and a modest proposal.

4. A fitness guru films his aerobics show in the desert.
A workout instructor goes way out into the desert to film his fitness show, where there’s probably more on the menu than just a few situps.

3. Never offer free shoes for a blowjob.
Or at least never try to get a blowjob while you’re working at a shoe store. Either one.

2. She wants to know if you could drop her off even though her roommate just dropped her off.
She wants to know if you could drop her off even though her roommate just dropped her off.

1. Ron Jeremy’s moving portrayal of a French waiter.
I’d like to see Marlon Brando pull this shit off. This is why, despite his aforementioned fuckugliness, Ron Jeremy is the master.

Via: Unibrow