10 good reasons not to exercise [Work Sucks]

Like many people, I work in an office where everyone seems to be all into exercise– c’mon let’s go to the gym, let’s workout, let’s play basketball, let’s play raquetball etc etc.  However, like many people, I have far too many other pressing things to let shit like exercise and healthy living stand in my way.  Things like playing World of Warcraft.  And sitting on my ass surfing the internets.  Or listening to friends bitch that I’m not fixing their websites quick enough.Well don’t take that crap– just say no to exercise and say yes to more time looking at porn.10. I Don’t Have Anything to Wear. This is a good one.  “I don’t have time to pack an extra set of clothes” or “I don’t own anything that stretches” will buy you some time.  “I don’t want everyone to see to nasty boils on my legs” will also buy you probably a month or more.9. The Gym Is Too Far Away. As in a) I don’t want to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to drive out of my way, work out, take an extra shower and then go to work when I could be sleeping or b) I don’t want to waste my precious hours left in the day that I could spend raiding Karazhan to drive out of my way, work out, take an extra shower and go to bed.  Don’t fall for the “we can carpool” or “I can pick you up” crap.8. I’ll Miss My Show / Raid / Sex with my wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/hand. Your time is your time and it’s precious.7. I Have No Energy. Of course you’ll get the “Well you know if you work out more, you’ll have more energy” crap.  That’s why god invented caffeine and sleep– to give you energy and then replenish it.  It’s a beautiful cycle, don’t let anyone mess it up.6. I Don’t Know What I Should Do.  Actually this one is just inviting someone to sign you up for racquetball or to suggest you go rock climbing with them or jogging or something.  Don’t use this one unless what you really want to say is “well maybe”.  And if that’s what you want to say, say it.  However, claiming that you get seizures around exercise equipment or start screaming uncontrollably when surrounded by people in sweatbands or have a highly contagious brain-melting disease that only is spread through excessive sweat are all good excuses.5. My iPod Broke. But it did.  And I don’t like working out while watching TV.  Or other people’s music.  Or no music at all.4. It Hurts. If pain makes you a wuss, then so be it.  Pain is a bitch and should be avoided at all costs.  You wouldn’t let someone convince you to run in front of gunfire because the pain will make you stronger, would you?  Of course not.  Let the fear of a pulled hamstring or shoulder muscle scare the shit out of you.3. I Don’t Like Being Sweaty. I like being sweaty when I’m fucking or if I’m running from lions it’s a natural byproduct, but normally I don’t find it really necessary.  Otherwise you’re just wasting precious bodily fluids that it’ll cost you two bucks in Gatorade to replenish and that could go towards cigarettes, so why the hell would I do that?2. My Ex / Parole Officer / Stalker Goes to the Same Gym. This is a perfectly valid excuse.  No one likes to be uncomfortable when you’re working out.  It should be a relaxing experience.  And if you happen to know someone you despise that frequents the same establishment, it’s the perfect opportunity to drop this gem of an excuse.1. I’m Too Busy. So there.