Bad Poetry Day 5: Personal Hygiene [Bad Poetry Day]

Two lovely poems this fine Monday morning… an ode to love and dental hygiene and the other an ode to… genital hygiene. Yay.

“An ode to my ode to my ode to my toothpaste…” by Chris

Ah,fair verse can nay desribe;
The words my soul will soon inscribe.
‘Bout a lovely prose so dear to my heart;
‘Bout a shiny new tube of toothpaste.

No song has ever been sung by men;
This verse about song about verse about toothpaste.
Yet this rings true in some men’s ears;
Ye can never have enough songs about songs about songs about toothpaste.

The first song was lovely,but did not suffice;
the second was somber,and came out quite nice.
But a third was required,a poetic device;
To reiterate the saga of toothpaste.

An ode to an ode to an ode about toothpaste;
A lovely sight to see indeed.
An ode to an ode to an ode about toothpaste.

“My Love Is Shorn” by Orin

never mind the scratches,
scars and rashes
that dot and dash my backside,

please overlook the scaly growth
above my balls
i’m sure it will subside in time.

and never mind the
rectal slime.

please do not leave my love,
i did not say a thing about
your rancid vulva smell,

or that strange protrusion
on your abdomen
that continues now to swell.

i’ve got the razor
and the gel
what else do you want from love?