RIP Heath Ledger & Celeb News Wrapup [News]

Heath Ledger found dead in a Manhattan apartment at 28
Tuesday, actor Heath Ledger was found naked and dead in a Manhattan apartment at 28 years old. Two things I thought of when I heard this news: a) I don’t think anyone would have predicted Heath Ledger dying of a drug overdose before Britney Spears or Lindsey Lohan and if they did, they’re now a very very rich person and b) Anyone who thought that Ledger couldn’t be creepier than Jack Nicholson’s version of the Joker are now proved wrong, if the trailers for the Dark Knight didn’t bring the proof. Because while Nicholson was absolutely brilliant in Batman, he wasn’t crazy enough to kill himself with a drug overdose right after filming… you wanna see nuts? I’ll show you nuts.

RIP Heath Ledger…

Bill Clinton falls asleep during MLK mass
People falling asleep in church is funny. Famous people falling asleep in church is funnier, but ex-Presidents falling asleep in church during a Martin Luther King Jr. service on Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday after his wife, who is running for president made disparaging remarks about said Martin Luther King Jr. and then tried to say that everyone didn’t understand what she meant is comedy gold. Everyone knows that church is bone fucking dull, but if you’re the former leader of the free world on national TV while your wife’s campaign hangs in the balance, take some fucking NoDoz or something.

Amy Winehouse caught on camera smoking crack
Not a whole lot of surprise here… everyone already knows that Amy Winehouse is full of more drugs than a 24 hour CVS, so it was just a matter of time before she got caught smoking crack on camera. The only surprising thing is that she didn’t also have coke dripping from her nose and half a dozen needles jutting out of her arms.

Duncan Hunter, Fred Thompson drop out of the race for the Republican Nomination
Just last week, we predicted that no Republicans would drop out before the Super Tuesday primaries and then Duncan Hunter drops out of the race followed a few days later by Fred Thompson. This proves that I was only slightly wrong, since Duncan Hunter was barely a blip on the radar and should have dropped out months ago, which is why I didn’t mention him and even though I did mention Fred Thompson by name, Fred Thompson has barely run a campaign so it was sort of like someone showing up 1/4 of the way into the Boston Marathon, walking a block while drinking a beer and then for the next few months telling people that if they really bothered to try they could have dogged everyone.