End of the year eBay Stupidness

Three auctions that are live right now on eBay– time travel, a human soul and some really expensive Pac-Man shoes.  Some people must have lost a whole lot at the casino over Christmas or something.  It used to be said that it didn’t matter what you put up on eBay, that someone somewhere would buy it.  Usually that someone was goldenpalace.com but since those golden days of auctioning stupidity, it seems that most people have wised up that eBay is full of attention whores and scammers in addition to great bargains.

A Soul

Price:  $2,008,000 (get it… 2008, 2.008 million lol)

Why you might consider buying it: Because  buying Ecuador and Serbia are just so passe, you have billions of dollars burning a hole in your pocket and you enjoy paying for some drugged up new ager’s retirement because they can’t get a real job other than selling handmade bongs and cheap bracelets.

 Why you might reconsider: Let’s see what you get for your 2 million… a contract for the soul signed in blood and a “new start”.  So essentially… a piece of biohazard waste, nothing nothing and nothing. Nice try Mr. 31 year old self-employed male with a university degree.  You don’t even get “soul” like James Brown or George Clinton, so it’s not even as good as hanging down by the crossroads.  Next time, try selling some burnt toast.

Link >>

The theory of Time Travel with Project

Price:  $10,000,000

Why you might consider buying it:  Hell, to be honest if I had billions of dollars and 10 million is what I might spend in a weekend on hookers and blow, I might honestly consider buying this.  There have been a million theories on time travel and a million kooks who claim to know how to do it or are “almost there”.  It’s such an incredibly cool idea that if it is possible, it would basically make you a god.  Plus if it does work, then 10 mil is a drop in the bucket for what you could make.  Think Back to the Future 2 and sports almanacs.

Why you might want to reconsider:  Because you’re saving that $10 million for a rainy day.  Because there’s a chance you could be forking 10 million dollars over to the Time Cube guy.  Because the seller says that this time travel project is for peaceful purposes only and not for war machines, when really the best thing about time travel other than the incredible amount of money you could make would be going back to the Dark Ages with an Apache helicopter to blow shit up and have them worship you as a god.

Link >>

Vintage Pac Man Off the Wall Vans

Price: $2000

Why you might want to buy these:  Because they’re in your size and you think $2K is a perfectly reasonable price for old smelly skate shoes and you totally love Pac Man.

Why you might want to reconsider: Because someone is shitting you and you could probably find these on Craigslist or at the Salvation Army for $1… and because they’re not in your size and because you weren’t that big into Pac Man but more into Frogger.

Link >>